I groggily rubbed my eyes and looked at the news (I know, first mistake), but there it was. The RNLI was coming under a lot of flak, actually, flak isn’t the right word, hate is probably closer to it. This incredible charity, completely independent from government support, was somehow getting dragged into the political landscape. Why? I scratched my head. Did they do something wrong? Was there some story of embezzled funds, mismanagement, lack of action? Nope. They did exactly what they were meant to do. They saved lives.

Their crime, apparently, is rescuing migrants crossing the Channel in small boats, work that, for context, makes up just over 1% of everything they actually do.

That’s it. That’s all they set out to do. If a life is in danger, they answer the call.

Now that’s something I actually find incredibly comforting, and it makes me proud to be British. They don’t judge you on your beliefs, your skin colour, who you vote for, or anything else for that matter. You are as important to save as the next person. Because if I’m in danger on my pink flamingo inflatable and a super yacht goes down nearby, and they decide to save the yacht owner over me because of where we sit in society, then I’ve got problems. Okay, my bigger problem at that point is probably that the flamingo is already plotting to abandon me and save itself, leaving me to do a Jack and float off into the cold abyss. But I’d also have a problem with a charity applying its own political views to who it decides to save. And I don’t think that’s even controversial to say.

I’ve been helped a lot by charities in the past, and I’ll absolutely write about that another time. But not once did any of them care who I was. They just cared about how to help. It’s the same instinct, whether you’re being pulled out of the sea or talked down off a bridge: help comes first, everything else comes after. Imagine being at rock bottom, stood on the edge of a bridge, and you call the Samaritans. Before you can even speak, they start asking: “Okay, Mr Loose Ends, can you tell us your age, sex, ethnicity, net worth, contribution to society, and whether you’ve already used your one flamingo-related rescue for the year?” “Mr Loose Ends? Can you hear me?” Click.

Obviously nobody would run a service like that. Nobody would design a lifeline that makes you qualify for help before you get any. And yet that’s exactly what people are demanding of the RNLI: that they check who’s drowning before deciding whether to throw the rope.

So, back to the RNLI. In their own words: “Our mission is to Save Every One.” Thank you, RNLI, for holding onto something so simple. I’ll be upping my support to you. You’re true heroes.